|Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.
Bess Dear, you are absolutely correct! Who puts an exra 's' in? The Grammar Dunce, that's who. Now I know that, as a Canuck, I can be accused of 'Briticisms' in my writing, but I happened to have had a superb series of English teachers, back in the day when grammar was actually taught in schools...
Hey! You stole our snow! We were supposed to get some, but it was delayed in the US and the snow clouds fizzled out before they got to us. We're getting rain now.
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Friday, February 27, 2009
Vintage Queen ramble all about herself
Ahh Marge – It's not the apostrophe I hate. It's that third S that drives me nuts. Bess' opinion is that 2 S's are enough and one need not toss in an extra one after the apostrophe.
I am officially thrilled that today is Friday because yesterday every cranky ornery crabby difficult person decided to visit the public library and make outrageous demands. And someone has stolen our Bride's magazine – and the plastic holder for it. I hope her marriage is a total failure and that he turns out to be a bounder. She also stole Glamour and it's cover so I hope she also catches her heel in her prom dress and falls flat on her face.
Hmmm. Well. Really I don't hope that. We don't need to add more misery to the world. But I hope we never get another thief in the library again. That's fair. And it was the absolute cranky-box day. We have one patron who is alright when she takes her medicines, but when she doesn't she comes into the library and makes loud outrageous demands on us and our time. We've been short staffed all week anyway and yesterday I was alone at the front desk when she came in. By the time help arrived at lunchtime I was already wound up and the call about the budget issue that has been lurking around forever and now must be resolved just added to the whole flavor of a wired Thursday.
So. So I intend to dance the happy dance today in celebration of Friday. Because a lot of sweet things have been going on this month. Even difficult things like our budget issue, which is hard to resolve, are getting resolved and when they are all fixed the library will come out a head. Funny how there is always this flip side to even the most daunting of issues. The realization that once you are on the other side of it it will never pinch you again.
I've been working this winter on finding a more centered and honest way of living my life. Back in January I decided to live my life around the concept of Freedom – decided, after my inner self told me that was what I was going to be working on. Not freedom as in let's run away and live on a desert island (or in a yurt – did that 30 years ago), but a freedom that one has when one lives more truthfully with one's self. The freedom you have if you've organized your closets so you can dress in a flash every day, unhampered by tightly squeezed clothes that don't really fit and that hide the few good pieces you own. The sort of freedom that comes when you have a bill paying routine. The freedom of being grown-up enough to get the business end of life out of the way and so you have time to play.
You can impose that sort of tidiness on yourself from the outside and if the system is really well designed it might even stick. But if you've grown it from within, it'll stick more easily and it, as well as the rest of your life, will feel more fun. And that involves honesty. Honesty to self, that is. A deep honest truth that addresses issues instead of hides them. Nowhere is this more important than with your health. If you don't exercise because you are too tired .... you know this is not true. Oh you may be tired, but if you are always too tired to exercise, and you don't have some chronic condition, just too tired – then there is something else you have to deal with – a bad job, a mean spouse, a self-punishing attitude.
That last one is the most common of all and it carries over into eating also. I had never realized what an emotional eater I am but I have been noticing this a lot. Who would have thought that the evening I wanted to work on the color choices for my adult surprise sweater and then found the light wasn't bright enough to distinguish between this orange and that one – that I would suddenly crave chocolate cookies? Then there was the evening I was so sleepy, but I was trying to stay awake to play crossword puzzle with BD. The next thing I knew, I was in the kitchen, digging almonds out of the jar. Not hungry, mind you, just trying to change how I felt with food. Fortunately, I realized this and went to bed before I finished the whole bag!
When I thought of emotional eaters, I'd think of the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral – where those women sit around with the box of chocolate bars, competing about who had the best bad date story. Or Dawn French in the Vicar of Dibbly with her refrigerator full of ice-cream. I hadn't thought of those moments of emotional stress that I plugged with food. So I have only a flash of boredom. That's all it takes to set feet in motion towards the kitchen.
Anyway – I have been working on these issues because I would like to be slimmer and I would like to be healthier, but most of all, because I would like to be freer. I would like to be free to shop for clothes on the sale rack that don't look like feed sacks dyed navy blue. I would like to deal with issues that are bothering me, rather than masking them with chocolate, so that I life my life un-bothered – free do savor the good things, enjoy the pleasures, dance lightly across the floor.
It never ceases to amaze me that when I mask my (admittedly small) dissatisfactions with food, I am telling myself that I can't solve my problems or worse – that my problems are unsolvable – which leads to an even worse inner belief – that Life Is Bad and Can't Be Trusted. And when I operate from that premise I end up putting even more restrictions on myself than that Life ever would dream of putting on me.
Conversely, when I address the issues – be they hunger or bad lighting or even cranky patrons who don't take their meds – I don't just deal with those issues, but I seem to want to reward myself with the things I want. I enjoy productivity more, I see solutions to other issues that hadn't yet become problems ... dealing with life as honestly as I possibly can unclogs all sorts of plugs that had been formed or were forming in my life.
Knitting? I knit? Well, no. not right now. I'm between projects, actually. Everything I want to work on requires a big needle - #10 or bigger. And I haven't any – and when I was in Richmond last it was a Monday – and the Addi turbo store was closed. But I have ordered some #10's and will cast on something next week. As for this weekend – I must write knitting rather than knit yarn. I have to write the handouts for my lace edging class.
Oh la and I have to dash because today is an early day in to work. Happy Friday Dancing to you all. posted by Bess | 7:24 AM