Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.

2 Comments:

Well, I hope I was somewhere in your thoughts, because I do love you, very much.

By Blogger Amie, at 10:11 PM  

And even though we haven't spent that much time together, I feel like I know you a little bit, Bess, and I love you, too! :-)

By Blogger Mary, at 11:47 AM  

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Friday, August 25, 2006  

Oooooo. Those weather dot com guys are warning of serious heat over the next few days. Hmmmm. I was getting quite used to sweet weather. Oven temperatures are no good news for me. But it is weather and it must be endured and these wide swings between the cool of the night and the heat of the day means we may get some rain. No dark cloud without its silver lining, hmm?

I am sure my legions of fans are waiting to hear how the Auction Sock #2 part A is doing ... and I am pleased to say I’m motoring down the sock foot. Something like 55 rows to toe decreases. I’m not much of a one for setting deadlines on my knitting, but for these I believe I shall do so. I’ll be going back to the city - and a yarn shop where I will buy GuySockYarn - on Tuesday so the goal is to be past the heel of AS#2pB (figure it out?) by then. Since once I’m in the city I shan’t have all that much driving to do, and I may ... just may ... get to go to the TNK’s at Barnes & Nobel, where I am sure I shall knit furiously, inspired by all the hilarity of Gals with Needles, I expect to finish those AS#2 by Thursday.

Or everything could change. Because this is life. And who knows what’s really around the corner?

Yesterday was a day of cranky weirdness. I updated the sidebar on my blog and then evidently deleted it instead of saving it, for it’s still the same old sidebar. BD had a dr. visit way off in Chester and I accompanied him (whence the well knit sock). The energy in the car was all wrong and while things never degenerated into words, for believe me, the Laird does not smolder, he’s an Aries and is always on the surface, it took every ounce of counter-energy I had to not nag or backseat drive or hiss at one thing or another. Well, to be honest, I did suck air in between my teeth a time or two.

It was hot in the city, Chesterfield County has built so many new roads along western Hull Street and Genito Drive that no gazetteer or map can keep up with it, we got lost three times and ... I was sooooo glad to get home. I would doubt the efficacy of all the Inner Calm and Spiritual Growth I’ve been working on after such a day except that, through it all we never had a single quarreling word. So - something must be working.

At home things became even stupider, as I dropped the expensive fish oil on the kitchen floor, where it promptly smashed and ... you know ... fish oil on your kitchen floor. Thank god for Dawn!

Believe me, I was never so glad to go to bed!

But the day ended with something sweet. Each day I select something about myself to appreciate. Then, when things go south, the moment I realize I’m feeling something Not So Great, I’m supposed to flip my attention and my emotions to my pre-selected Great Thing I Appreciate About Me. This is a 30 day exercise and I’m about 2 weeks into it and I have so much trouble finding GTIAAMs. Mind now, I am not one to dump on myself - or at least, once I realize I’m doing so, I stop - but I’m not just supposed to think about something nice ... like knitting, or dogs, or my job, or how I can grow great fingernails, or that I can sing on tune. I’m supposed to actually feel just how really great it is to be, have, do, know, whatever it is that I appreciate. And identifying that many things that are really that I have such strong feelings about is difficult. I’m really scraping some days, but last night I hit on something that wiped away all the crabbiness and slapstick clumsiness of the day.

As I drifted off to sleep, feeling a little boohooey about TheQueen, I thought, “Well, at least BD loves me.”

And from there I began to list all the people I know who probably love me. First the ones I am sure do so: Mama, Dad, immediate family, closest friends. Then I identified those who probably love me: cousins and other friends, a couple of work colleagues. Finally I started identifying the ones who might love me, at least a little: library patrons I’ve helped in some special way, e-mail buds and such. And as each person flitted across my mind, all of that cranky crabby grouchy prickly day just melted away in the sweet warmth.

What a great way to end a day - what a great way to begin one. Why not try it yourself, next time things feel blue and low.

posted by Bess | 7:36 AM
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