Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.

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Bess, I must send you one of our favorite new recipes, heck I might even send you more than one. One in particular is a winner and not too weird, I promise. I'm not even sure I would have liked the tofu with peanut sauce and buckwheat and I've been told I eat some pretty weird stuff.

By Blogger erica, at 8:55 AM  

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Thursday, May 18, 2006  

SHE TALKS TOO MUCH!

Not to worry, dear hearts - about my moaning and groaning re: weight issues. If I’m complaining, I’m already over the pity party and doing something about it. My Virgo brain thinks it ought always to be brisk decisions and tidy lists, but the InnerQueen knows that first comes the resolve within, then comes all the outer trappings of Just Doing It.

Part of the grousing comes from a little pressure from BD, who wants to shift over to the Edgar Cacey diet - basically a South Beach diet with tweaks - and this means learning a new way of approaching food por moi. In fact, I’ve laid down two ultimatums (ultimatii?) about such a drastic food shift. One is that he must assume some of the cooking and two is that there are to be no complaints when dinner sucks. Constructive criticism about how to make a dish better is fine - important - but “I can’t eat this _____!” has been banned from TheCastle.

We tried a curried tofu with peanut sauce over buckwheat last night and it was .... okay. Different. But okay.

And I am sure that anyone who ever knew BD in the pre-heart attack days must be howling with laughter now because this is a man whose 4 food groups included grease, grease, meat and salt.

So. I’m far more thrilled to find that I’m married to an adventurer than that I’m no longer being asked “Is that some of that fat lady food?” Because one of the things I notice about aging folk is that when they refuse to adapt to time’s demand for changes, but insist upon struggling on down the same old path that isn’t taking them where they want to go, life becomes hell for them and those who live with them. Far better to be a successful 63 year old than a failing 53 year old. BD’s wholehearted willingness to try something new has made the past year interesting, fun and beneficial to us both.

But talking about weight and body and image brings to mind a discussion about being turned off of knitting patterns when they’re modeled by “ugly” models, begun on the KRForums. The discussion has strayed from the topic so far now that I’m not inclined to comment there, though it certainly prompted me to muse - and expound here. Thank goodness I have my own forum!

I am a maker and I make mostly for myself. Once I get over my color prejudices and am really studying a design, the first thing I look at is the area between shoulders and waist. I’m examining the model and the garment at the same time, comparing her body to mine and deciding if the lines of the garment are flattering to that area. I’m short waisted and top heavy with broad shoulders. Not exageratedly so (BD’s hideous photos notwithstanding) but on the far side of the middle. Lines that lengthen and narrow that part of the body are what I’m looking for.

I confess, when I look at other women, that’s the first thing I notice as well. I think it’s pretty common, actually. We are always most sensitive about the parts of ourselves we think are not up to snuff and we always want to be sure we don’t compare too badly with those around us. All women with delicate and well proportioned upper halves are beautiful in my eye. I’d swap with them in a New York minute. Ditto those with curly hair. Especially bushy curly hair. And yet, my dear college friend R, who has wide hips in comparison to her shoulder area, always used to greet me after a long absence with a swift look at my hips and the comment, “Bess! You’ve lost so much weight!”.

It was never true. It’s just that she never looked at the top half of my body and my bottom half, no matter how big the whole, is always smaller than the top. She never looked at that part of my body because she didn't really care how I looked. She'd long since decided I was her beautiful friend. She was only worried about how her hips compared to mine. A little deviation is okay - too much makes puts you in the FAT category and we all know that Fat means all sorts of Other Derogatives.

Thank you Madison Avenue for giving us a 40 billion dollar diet industry and super-sized fast foods.

So - do ugly models distract me? Hmmm. No. If they are very odd looking I’ll examine the odd bit a while, but only ugly patterns distract me - just long enough to dismiss them.

For my Virgo pals, today promises to be good one. Mr. Horoscope’s stand in offers this - especially the part about creativity:

Virgos have a reputation for being prim and reliable types (with kinky underbellies). Whether or not you agree with your stereotyping, another of your 'typical' Virgo qualities is that many of you are also incredibly creative. This is a lot to do with the fact that your ruler Mercury governs thinking, writing and talking. Today, you have the perfect window of opportunity to exercise your creativity. If you've got a project on the boil which you've ignored for too long, work out a schedule for getting back into it. Lovewise, if things in the bedroom have gone quiet, that could start to change.

As for the kinky underbelly - well. I’m not talkin’.

And are you going to watch the da Vinci code?

Thanks to Crazy Aunt Purl - I've already ordered this!

posted by Bess | 7:40 AM
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