Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


it was pretty awesome.

By Anonymous Mitchell Padden, at 3:11 PM  

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Sunday, August 07, 2005  

Sometimes you have to do something that is not hard to do, a simple act of honesty that preserves harmony and balance and truth in your life; an admission of a fact that is no dreadful truth, merely a truth, that is in opposition to all the other facts in the present situation. It is a reality that says, "Hey! I don’t belong here. Le’me go!"

Only, at these particular sometimes, those other facts all have receptors, like a red blood cell, that can lock onto a WrongThing, like some fatal carbon dioxide molecule, and carry around that simple true, but WrongThing as if it were a triumph, even though the true but WrongThing is killing the poor little cell. Gory analogy, but true - you can kill your soul if you lock those wrong truths up in your heart, in your psyche, in your surroundings, like jewels in a strong box. BH says it’s like those people who refuse to admit there’s an elephant in the living room. An elephant isn’t a bad thing or even an untruth. It’s just an elephant. But if it’s in the living room you have to admit it. The puzzle to her, and to me when I am being rational, instead of a 9-year old, is why other people, who I shall not name, get furious at her for pointing out the elephant, noting that it doesn’t belong there and asking when they’re going to let it go.

So. Yesterday I had to get that elephant out of my living room. And I got mad at the people who pointed out that there was an elephant in the living room. And I kicked and screamed and threw my temper tantrum - only, of course, I’m a Virgo, so I don’t act out in a way anyone else can tell. I turn all the venom and pain inward, finding all sorts of reasons why I Am Bad and It’s My Fault. Half a century of living has produced within me the faint ghost of a WiseParentToInnerChild, so I was able, not only to do the simple honest act, but to point out benign omens and pull up memories of past GoodGirl successes to the Inner-9-Yr-Old. But it was still a painfully difficult day of groaning under the weight of my InnerScold.
I did my Chore, canceled my plans with my family (wisely - it would have been impossible for me to have acted cheerily and truly - there is no reason for them to try to cheer up a gloomy 9-year old), sulked the rest of the day away, and went to bed with what passes for a headache.

Happily, it is now Sunday and the Chore is done and I don’t even have to think about it tomorrow, at Tara. And Mr.Horoscope promised me yesterday that "... what's preventing you from making such an ascent? A ball and chain around your feet? Not really. You just have to be realistic about an unattainable aim... and then put your energy into something that could really bring you a great result." Well. I’ve done that. Or, at least, I’ve done the first half, the unattainable aim thing. For the coming week, he assures me that "The astrological implication here is that you are about to have a brush with some hidden force that stirs up strong reactions. Keep your desires and concerns in separate categories. Don't confuse a wish with a need, or a fear with a real reason to worry." Hmmm. I certainly have a strong wish that is not a need, and a not quite so strong fear that is not anything to worry about. Okay. Sounds like a plan. Let us hope that I can step wisely along the PathWithoutConfusion and move " onward and upward. [where] You [I] have the chance to enter a realm where all seems vastly different because you are viewing it from such an enlightened height."

Yes. Enlightened heights. We can do that. Need: Be Met! Worry: Begone!

posted by Bess | 8:21 AM