|Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.
I just nearly burned my oatmeal reading your post. But it is worth it. I'm go happy to hear you're getting your spirit back. Maybe prayer works afterall. Have a grand time.
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Friday, July 08, 2005
Sometimes, we forget how strong we are. We let our fears get the better of us, even when we have nothing to be afraid of. We remember old problems and forget that we have long-since learned how to handle them. We see ourselves as little children, even when we are powerful adults. We feel the need to protect ourselves when, actually, we are in a fine position to protect others. Don't look at what you feel you need, this weekend. Look at your ability to give and then be generous.
Oh. Well. Hmmmm. I see.
If ever in my life I needed a slap up side the head, it is now and it is the above. You would not believe how deep in the hole TheQueen has been for such a loooooong time. This guy has so nailed me I am a little embarassed. And believe you me - I have been wallowing badly - gobbling up whole boxes of CheezIts, albeit the lo-fat version, and telling myself I’ll write it down tomorrow - at Tara.
Well. My plans for the weekend had been for a major clean. The Magnificent Sheryl will be away for an entire month and this is cobweb season. Every bug on the east coast makes a stop by ChezRegina and leaves a calling card of some sort. I intend, still, to be Suzie Homemaker but I promise - nay - vow - to respond generously to whatever pops up to the s urface this weekend. I ought to do it all the time. It’s true. I am an adult and I do know that a box of CheezIt’s will solve no problems.
The other very important thing I plan to do is to tap into my spiritual help. I do have the techniques to find great peace and good answers. I know them - I just haven’t used them. I believe it is that quirk of human nature that makes people not do the very things that feel the best - eat right, exercise, stay in touch with the inner self. Yep. If there is a Satan - he is the imp who scatters Chicken Little Acorns on our heads and then whispers "The sky is falling" into our ears.
A most special thanks goes to A, whose excellent post about knowing she ought to feel glad that she isn’t going to die from cancer but still feeling both blue because of the cost of recovery and bad about the inability to See The Bright Side. Oh how she is singing my song right now. When death is the other option, loosing important things, even temporarily, or even just the adaptations we have to make adjusting to the new regime, is such a better option that we (at least, we Virgos) feel guilty for being depressed, feeling oppressed, being blue, being frustrated, tired, sad or anything other than happy that we didn’t have to take the tougher choice. I’ve been so blue for at least a month and a whole lot of it had to do with the heart attack and I’ve felt like SUCH a whiner - as if anybody who knew what I felt would look at me and say "What is the problem? he lived. he is even getting well?"
What they don’t know is that 33 years of listening to Mister Crabby bitch about every grain of sand in his path, every wisp of breeze ruffle his hair - and just laughing, shrugging my shoulders and letting him make his own mistakes - is over. My armor against his brattiness was to ignore it - but now it’s not so easy to do that. If he stomps around saying "Nobody can keep track of all these (*^&%^ pills!!" it’s not so easy to ignore. I’m having to actually explain why he ought to take my advise instead of letting him crash and burn.
So A, dear, how wonderful the company of misery feels. Thank you sweetie - we’ll get through it - we’ll get C to post for us. She is so good at calling spades spades.
One week to MAFA - and a sweet 4 day weekend, most of it spent with J and S and the SpinningGuru. I’m suddenly a little excited at the thought of being around a real celebrity. So. Maybe, after being generous to one and all, I will be generous to myself this weekend and get a little spinning practice in. posted by Bess | 8:07 AM