Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


I get the darn stuff folded because yes, as you say, wrinkles and creases. But then I stack it to be put in drawers but for some reason I seem to think it needs to sit out for at least 24 hours before making it those last final, but crucial steps.

By Anonymous Jahara, at 7:40 PM  

Jahara! What a treat to hear from you again! I hope all is splendidly well with you and yours. Thanks for a trememdous lift.

By Blogger Bess, at 8:25 AM  

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Saturday, April 09, 2005  

Wow. Today is one of those sapphire and gold days, with colors to make your skin tingle. Spring’s green leaves are still translucent jewels, too small to cast more than a shimmer of dancing shade. A look out my window shows beams of sunshine’s golden blessing slanting through the forest, just steps away from the front door. For two days, lashing rain has washed away the loose pollen, going so far as to pulverize it into the ground, so even we allergy victims will be able to take full advantage of nature’s first golden green. I believe I shall rewrite my plans for today.

Not that I had many plans. Only to finish up the baby sweater, since the shower is on Tuesday. And to get in a couple of long walks. And do the laundry - we have had so much rain this month and it has been sure to fall on weekends. This is a drier-less household, mostly due to laziness and inertia, but a little bit, due to the space considerations. Today's sunshine is a welcome surprise after the promise of storms from the weather dot com guys.

I have finally adjusted to DST, though not without waking Friday at 1 a.m., tossing in the bed for 3 hours and finally getting up to go play with bead toys. Along with a circulatory system and a respiratory system, I have a passion system that pumps a steady stream of creativity, longing and strategic planning from my soul to my brain to my fingers and back again into my soul. Often BD will ask me what I am thinking and when I open my mouth, out pours the B theme from the 2nd movement of Tchaikovsky’s 7th symphony. Lately, the passion system has been all full of wire wrapping. It got so bad on Wednesday that I had to place an order with Fire Mountain Gems, where I depleted some of my precious Maryland Sheep & Wool $ on gold filled wire. I ought to have popped for the jig, too, and now I’m kicking myself. Free form is fun, but I simply drool when I think of balanced swirling metal curves.

This book has so inspired me that today’s plans just might have to be stretched around driving to Mechanicsville, where I know I can pick up a jig.

But I also hear an enamel kiln whispering my name ....

Thursday and Friday were Crack-0-Dawn days for me, when I had to be in town before 8 o’clock. I’m so spoiled by my shop keeper’s hours that an ordinary office schedule can throw my body off kilter. Though I nearly always get up in the wee dawn hours, I consider the morning time-slot to be seriously and deeply personal time. BD is not awake, I can prowl the house touching my things, cleaning it if I am so moved, reading books, caressing my toys - all those things we must do to regain our sense of power and autonomy. The dawn hours are when I recharge my love of humanity by loving only me, feeding my hungers, filling my empty spaces. When I don’t get those leisurely hours, all sorts of strange things stop functioning - whence Thursday’s insomnia.

(several attempts to write something later)

Odd - there is really more to the above than I seem able to express here. It’s as if I can see through the window of my self and watch what’s going on, but if you were to walk up to me and say "Hey. What’s going on in there" I would stammer and stumble all over myself, inarticulate and scattered, and unable to answer. Were it not for the state of flux so many beloved friends are in, I would be more worried - feeling the clutching hand of Nemesis about to grab me from behind. Instead, I feel more like I am approaching a Moment Of Change point in my life - a crisis point - a crossroads. No - I am not yet at the crossroads, but I am fast approaching one. It’s a funny feeling - half anxious dread and half excited anticipation. THINGS are pushing me in new directions. Events happen that sound like so many bells ringing. Something is waiting up ahead.

And Chicken Heart here is one to inch her way down the sliding board, not swoop recklessly into the pool. I will take my sweet good time, until there is no other possible step I can take but the one down the new stretch of highway. In spite of all normal desire for the power to choose, part of me likes to be forced to move. I like to feel like I’m making the only choice and that the only choice will be the right one. I have always found it easy to do the RightThing and throughout my life, the RightThing has usually loomed up, vivid, powerful, inevitable, like a genie from the bottle, bowing it’s noble head, and inviting me to start moving.

Anyway - when I know what I am ready to say I will post it here. Till then, I believe I shall slide on out into this glorious April day. Just think, 4 weeks from today I’ll be on the road to the Howard County Fair Grounds!

posted by Bess | 8:43 AM