Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


Hey girl, hugs to you. I understand how you feel - I do the same thing when something is wrong that I have no control over.

By Blogger Carolyn, at 11:31 AM  

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Saturday, March 19, 2005  

Ahh sweet Saturday welcome at last. If I can’t be inspired, at least I can be relaxed.

It’s unusual that I can find nothing interesting out in that wider world, viewed from within the pod. I suspect I know what the reason is, though I’m not ready to bet the farm on it - but how strange to be experiencing this pulling in and shutting down. It’s not exactly unfamiliar. At the ripe age of 52 I’m beginning to see a pattern, familiar, but not particularly pleasing: When confronted with a problem for which I can find no solution, I withdraw, deep into the cave.

Mama told me once that when I was a toddler and hurt myself - a cut, a fall - I would go hide in the closet. Unlike normal kids, who let you know something’s wrong and demand help, I went undercover, like some wild animal. A sort of primordial control freak response - as if I were just a little closer to the wild state than the normal person. While I’ve learned enough first aid to handle the cuts and bruises to my body, I still creep off into the brush when the spirit takes a blow. Some blows, of course, are really easy to identify; job loss, empty nest, that sort of thing. Others, alas, are more insidious. They disguise themselves as bits of daily life and snatches of ordinary conversations. They can be so hard to identify it isn’t until I find myself deep in the den that I realize SomethingIsWrong.

And unlike problems, that usually have solutions, a SIW issue usually means there's not a freakin' thing I can do about it but suck it up.


posted by Bess | 6:44 AM