Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


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Monday, February 07, 2005  

La, how did Monday get here so fast? The first Monday of February! Monday before Ash Wednesday! 320 days till Christmas!!!

Do you guess I am sensing time slipping by? I am, of course, because I have something to do that I have been putting off for months. It wasn’t onerous. It wasn’t difficult. It just demanded a little thinking time (very little, like, say 20 minutes) and I didn’t give it the time. And now it’s dragging on and on and on and the sticking point is nothing but the shame of letting it drag on so long. Of course, as it lay there like a rock in the middle of a sluggish stream, other little bits of my life, drifting leisurely by, tangled around it like a fringe. The assembling clutter could be ignored as long as something Important, like TheWedding, took up my attention, but now, in the quiet aftermath of post-nuptial depression, my whole life feels messy.

I am not a fanatic about tidiness, but I do have a Virgo soul beneath the lazy cluttery surface. That core self is what makes me keep the living room tidy even if my bedroom is a wreck, and makes me clean up my bedroom even if the closets are a disaster. It is why, when I get the flu, weak, shivering with fever chills, I will change the sheets first and vacuum the floor, before I collapse into bed. It's why the library is clean and tidy, but the workroom is heaped with ever-mutating shape-changers. I need tidy public spaces but I can function a long time in a messy work space.

I can not function forever in a messy work space. In fact, the bit about functioning in a messy work space isn’t really accurate. I can ignore a messy work space if I am not really working there. And as long as I was really only working (and thinking and caring and living for) TheWedding, I could ignore the rats nest I, and my poor suffering staff, have had to stumble through every day. So. Now that I am back from PrincessBrideFairyTaleLand, it’s time to put my house in order. And how perfect that it’s coming on to Lent. What a grand time to put things to rights.

When a stream is dammed by a large boulder, or a huge fallen tree, it’s obvious that if you could shift the biggest block, most of the little stuff will be released too. So it is in my life right now. I must attack the big issue today - the grown stupidly big thing that is really nothing at all and if I were not such a goof it would have never gotten this way. I do not leave the library until I have made that phone call and sent that e-mail. It will be fun to see what else floats away once I shift that stupid rock.

And now you see how TheQueen’s brain works when she is trying to find out why she spent an entire beautiful sunshiny blue-sky Sunday being as grumpy as a troll. Everything on earth hurt my feelings. Imagined slurs streaked across my sky. No eagles in the pine tree, only buzzards. Nobody loved me, least of all, TheQueen, herself. She is disgusted with my procrastinating ways. She sits in my brain, shaking her head and going “tsk tsk” and murmuring “um um ummmm”.
I know that when TheQueen finally gets disgusted with me, it’s time to quit acting like a fool, survey the landscape, identify the blocked up stream, and get out the shovel. That is what this day holds for me. I’m posting it here as an added spur to action.

Well. There. And just as I typed this, beautiful golden sun rays streamed through the window on the landing, flooding the entire house with the promise of spring. A hint of daffodils. An echo of birdsong. Don’t you just love omens?

And yes. I have always been able to talk about myself in the third person.

On a happy fiberly note, I finished all the repeats of the first pattern of the Brooks Farm Lace Cardigan and started on the second pattern. It’s only 18 rows long so I should be done with that this week. At some point after I finish this pattern and switch to a simple eyelet stitch, I’ll change to the solid color yarn. I am thinking I want the switch to be a little bit gradual and am considering knitting the first inch or so in stripes - maybe 1 solid followed by 3 variegated, then 2 solid and 2 variegated , then 3 solid and 1 variegated - something like that. It might be very effective. I shall have to see. It looks as if there will be plenty of yarn, though.

I also knit a wee bit on the Wool of the Andes Tam. I did tell you it was to be a tam, didn’t I? Hmm. Probably not. But it will be. With a heart pattern in the deep teal blue on the gold background. Photos when it’s done.

Altogether, a productive knitting day, even if I was as sour as a lemon. I stuck to the WW program with great difficulty. Weekends are the hardest times because there is so much to tempt me at home. I mean it. I can be tempted by soda crackers, if that’s all there is in the house. Ha! So. There is a reason to be delighted it’s Monday at last.

posted by Bess | 7:53 AM