Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.

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Saturday, July 17, 2004  

Hmmm. Paying for my sloth on Thursday, I woke up Friday to find a watermelon had leaked all over the kitchen counter - all the way down to the cookbooks, 22 feet away, and oh lawsee you never saw such a mess to clean up. In fact, I’ll have to spend some time today trying to mitigate the disaster.

Sometimes, my housekeeping leaves so much to be desired.

I’ve been having a hard time focusing these days. I’ve always been a multi-tasker/ADD sort of gal anyway, but this summer seems to have brought out the worst aspects of such a personality. I have lots of thoughts whirling around in my head - thoughts prompted by Martha, who asks why American’s aren’t reading any more, thoughts about weather people are reading more, but we aren’t counting it accurately, thoughts prompted by how awful most modern literature is, thoughts about the insistence upon multiculturalism that denies a cannon yet laments our lack of subscription to one. Then there are fiberly thoughts about the joys of spindling - a different sort of peace. And design thoughts prompted by drawers full of yarn. And a little guilt over the desire to shop instead of create, little impulses that prick and scold me for being baaaaad and stuuuuupid and greeeeeedy. Plus the glimpses of memory poking through the fog of years - memories of Bess’ little house in the woods and the promise - nay, the desire, to write it all down before I forget even more of it.

Well. I’ve managed to fill up a paragraph that hints at everything and goes nowhere - which is precisely the issue. This is because there is something up ahead that I don’t want to do - dread even -  in fact, there are 2 things up ahead that lie like black oil slicks, waiting to pull the ground from beneath me. BH’s final custody hearing is in 11 days and the family reunion is 2 weeks later. You know, the same family that includes the s-i-l who testified against BH at the temorary custody hearing. One will come and leave a powerful impact, one will just come and depart, but the first will definitely effect how well we enjoy the second. My horoscope for this week warns that I will watch, helplessly, even get caught up in, a tense situation, that, no matter how much I dread, is something I have to go through. Crap.

Nevertheless - I suspect that, until the Soprano sings, it ain’t gonna be over, so I may as well accept the fact that my brain will flitter about, accomplishing nothing more than small tasks.
 
Guess it’s a good thing I can’t get into those Yahoo groups. Who needs more gratuitous distraction? 
 

posted by Bess | 9:13 AM
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