Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


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Wednesday, March 24, 2004  

Yes yes yes! Weather dot com says it will be in the 70's on Friday and today is Wednesday - so there's tomorrow, when they can say it will be in the 40's, and then Friday will come and it can be back in the 70' again. It is arbitrary, isn't it? Weather prediction?

All joking aside, it does look as if the coming 10 days will be gentle ones - just what the doctor ordered for MsFrazzleNerves. We have an art exhibit opening at the library on Friday and I do hope to wear one of my Bee-U-T-full new spring dresses, which I can do, if it gets over 65. With the Pride&Prejudice shawl. I expect everything to be wrapped up by 8 o'clock and then I am FREEFREEFREE for the next 9 days. Watch me dance!

My assistant at work, who is the only other full time employee, has been out sick all week. I am afraid it is all my fault, because last week I distinctly said to myself "I know I have time to work on that 5 Year Plan, but I think I'll put it off till Monday, when I can sit down and blitz through it." Poor L was doomed. She's been out sick and along with 2 volunteers, and I have had to man the front desk 100% of the time, while the 5YP has languished on my desk. I actually have worked on it since our last meeting, but I could have assembled an entire draft for the committee, had I been organized, efficient and non-procrastinating. I could also have postponed the meeting for 2 weeks, but that smacked too much of MoreProcrastination and I don't want to come back from my vacation, rested, amnesiatic, and blasé, and be confronted with a 5YP committee meeting! I can get a little more work done on the document before 4 p.m. today and we will go with what we have.

Of course, today being Wednesday, Wednesday means story hour. I love this little bit of chaos in the middle of my week. It makes hump day feel like Friday. It puts me in the most relaxed, silly, absurd frame of mind - and an hour with 20 pre-schoolers really helps me think outside the box. They are so passionate, so ready to give it a try, so sure everybody's ideas are going to be fun and interesting. I never thought about it before, but almost all my committee and board meetings are held on Wednesday afternoons and they always follow a morning of kiddychaos. And of course, I am the one who set up the schedules, so I see now that I have always used the youngest members of our community to start the juices flowing, when it comes time to address the direction and development of the library. Man - that is so cool.

Last night was the last knitting class. This year most of my students were teachers at the local girls' boarding school and they went on a 4 week mini-mester-cum-spring break after 3 weeks of knitting classes. It was gratifying to see the progress each of them made over the past month. Of course, some of them are not finished with their projects, but I am only 3 blocks away, so I can guide individuals through any unfinished bits and all of them have been invited to join Tuesday Night Knitters, where they can be kibitzed along by others than me. The one non-St. Margarets knitter is my friend B, with whom I have considered going to Knitters Camp. We talked it over last night again and decided that Creative Strands would more likely meet our present needs and feed our current hungers. It's so hard to say how I'll feel in three months, but at the moment, my deepest hunger is for spinning instruction and CS offers lots of spinning classes.

I had to miss the WW meeting last night - had to work till 6. In a way I was glad because I know I have put on some lbs. since I reached my 6-week-at-goal status. I've been having a lot of trouble returning to reality and suspect I didn't spend enough time living in the halfway house of the newly slim. I thoroughly enjoyed the WW program and actually have little doubt of my ability to maintain - over the long haul - this new body. But I do think the program falls down when it comes to support for the maintenance people. There is little discussion about maintenance. There are no rewards, no new goals to strive for. I’m one of the least goal-oriented people I know - but I need some mountain top on my horizon.

I completely understand why the emphasis is on the weight loss folk. And I am a big girl. I know my success at staying here at goal is up to me. Nevertheless - the 6 months or even year it takes someone to lose a lot of weight doesn't eradicate the 10 or 20 or lifetime of years that person has been maintaining a much heavier body. The only way to maintain an overweight body is to consume mindlessly, massive quantities of stuff the body doesn’t need. Couple that with the LastDayOfSchool feeling a body has when it’s finished it’s diet - Whew!

Anyway - the result the past 6 weeks has been a small weight gain. I’ve been unhappy about this - funny how fat I feel at this weight compared to how I felt when I got here on the way down!. I have often experienced this phenomenon, it is not something new. But I have to find some tools and practices to combat the fact of weight gain now. I know weight management will always be with me - I know it’s a lifetime thing. I just need to spend some time figuring out how to live it - how to throw off the bratty juvenile attitudes of Whew, Now That’s Done and YouCan'tMakeMe.

And in the mean time, I am back on the weight loss part of WW and have set my spring goal. It feels good to be there again - but I am wondering just how much this is like a criminal being glad to be back in jail - where he understands what the rules are.

Hmm. Looks like I need some attitude adjustments. More later, then when I have made the shift.

posted by Bess | 6:58 AM