Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


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Wednesday, February 04, 2004  

So far I haven’t ordered any new yarn. So far. I have looked up sock yarn and find there’s not a whole lot out there that isn’t multi colored, ringle, striped, jaquardish stuff. (Enough, already!!) or black. Or Gray. More Fair Isle socks with cool designs will be a challenge.

And I didn’t call The Needle Lady in C’ville and ask for one of each Aussie yarn. Yet. Today is only Wednesday.

Last night my class did the shuffle and two students dropped out while two new ones showed up. The new ones are really new. They are knitting the hat from my beginners class. The Sweater Gal is actually an experienced knitter - what she is learning is Elizabeth Zimmermann’s seamless circular sweater that fits via the Best of Lopi book. I know that EZ may not have invented this sweater style - that isn’t important. She introduced it to me, developed the proportions, and by golly - freed up gazillions of knitters to think about other things. If I am a proselytizer, well, so be it. Besides, who else in the world would have made such a darling instructional video as Knitting Workshop?

C, who is my personal friend, and an all round special person, is working on mittens instead of socks, and is such a process knitter I believe she has only ever finished three things. “Oh, I love ripping out, it’s so much fun to feel the yarn run through my fingers!” C, is also the woman who came to me back in 2000, when LD was graduating from Sub School, in Connecticut, one day before we were contemplating holding a garden party for 200 people. I couldn’t figure out how to do the party and go to his graduation ceremony. LD wanted to come to the party and encouraged me to skip the ceremony.

“You go to the ceremony, and we’ll cook the food for your party.” she offered. I mean, is this a friend, or what!?

It’s interesting teaching/coaching people who are all working on different things. It’s fun, too, and completely ENFP - a shattered activity. This is a very Bessish sort of thing to do.

It doesn’t look like my beginner class will make up - for which I am suddenly glad. I enjoy teaching a lot. It is also, though, a demanding sort of activity. I find I have to put myself in the other person’s mind/place/shoes to pick up on what sort of learner she is. That makes me tailor my words to fit into her ears. It’s stimulating and fun, like really good party conversation on a favorite topic - but it is also draining. Another year, another set of circumstances, and I’ll be delighted to teach more beginners - but perhaps I’ll just sit out this winter.

This week holds no weird tension causing events but I’ve gotten so used to being tense and angst-ridden, I can’t quite relax. Oh - the tax lady comes back on Friday - but since the govt. owes us $, it’s hard to be to wrought up about that. Spent the drive in to work yesterday asking myself “what do I really want right now?” Really want. This is a corollary question to “Who am I?” and it’s partner “Why am I here?” All more ENFP stuff, so you SJ folk just shrug and talk to someone else. I’ll be fine in a day or so.

Last night was WW meeting and I reached Lifetime designation. That is, I have been at my goal weight for 6 weeks. Actually it’s been 8 weeks, but I missed both the meeting the week I actually reached goal and last week’s. It is a strange feeling to realize that all through the Christmas holiday I never gained as much as 2 lbs. To acknowledge the success of that is to acknowledge the truth that I’m not a fat gal in a skinny disguise. Just like, when I was fat I felt like there was this skinny gal sulking inside. I don’t really think I am like Eve, with my multiple faces. I just think I have to integrate reality with fantasy and accept the person I am and all the responsibilities she demands.

The last 2 weeks have been the most difficult - largely because I haven’t gotten in enough regular exercise. Or water. I can tell I’ve been less rigorous about my diet - I can feel it. I haven’t been getting certain nutrition worked into the day - because some healthy food is just plain hard to have on hand. Or, not so much hard, but time consuming. The old habits of grabbing, stuffing, and fast paced eating, seem to lurk outside even the best routine, like the creepy servants in an English Murder Mystery, ready to shove you over the Bluffs of Bulge.

Well - there. The stupid ENFP in me just doesn’t want to appreciate reaching the goal. Instead she’s all full of worry and nervousness because she doesn’t have a new venture to delve into - because maintenance doesn’t sound as exciting as losing weight. Stupid, I know. Well - just because I am naturally process oriented, doesn’t mean I can’t make myself appreciate the completed project. I believe I shall go sit myself down with tapestry needle and yarn and sew up the underarm openings in the Stars sweater. And while I do so I will repeat “You lost the weight, gal. You lost the weight”.

posted by Bess | 6:32 AM