Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


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Friday, February 06, 2004  

I hadn’t meant to post those photos till I was ready to do a story about making the jelly, along with recipes, but while clearing off my desk yesterday I came across them and just suddenly wanted it to be May. There is nothing as beautiful as May in Virginia. It is the perfect world - with skies so blue and days so sweet - the sun is your friend - unlike the rest of the year when it is either in your eyes, sucking up all the moisture in the ground, burning your skin or hiding behind clouds. If I were in charge of the world, there would be 3 Mays in every year.

I haven’t made rose petal jelly in several years. I’ve sort of let the garden go to pot - and it’s in serious need of attention. I had thought to get it all ship shape this year, but things are intruding into my life and, though I shall get some good work in it done, it shan’t be fixed up enough for a spring garden party. It ought to produce enough roses for jelly though.

I’ve been having a tough time being the pillar against which others lean. Yesterday I began to crumble - while BD drove us in to town. The list of things just grew too long. Oh, I know that I can’t solve the world’s problems, I don’t even want to try!!. Mostly I think people whine too much and make exceedingly stupid decisions. But I guess my ego is too tied up with being “wise” and “thoughtful” and when people come to me wringing hands, begging “what should I dooooo?”, the old ego shoves out the healthy me and tries to shoulder their burdens. Can’t be done, I know. Why I even try to, is beyond me. More stupid decisions, obviously.

After a good cry, though, and a promise from BD to quit complaining about every little adjustment he had to make to use the new computer, I was able to pull myself together and make a list. Yes. I am a list maker. They’re all over the house. They aren’t even meant to be followed, much of the time. Their main function is to help me vent - and see what is really out there, not what I’m afraid is out there.

So a little order was restored, a little productivity begun, some items got ticked off the list and I don’t feel quite so threatened. I also tipped off my staff that I was having a bit of trouble maintaining my emotional equilibrium these days. I’ve learned that warning people that you’re going through a rough patch is a great way to A) ward it off and B) reassure them that they didn’t do anything!!! I also sat down with my time sheets and figured out when is the soonest I can take a week off. Some time off is just what the doctor ordered. Time off where I don’t tell anybody where I am. Yes.

Okay - the tax lady shows up today - if she can get down our mired and mucky road. We warned. She insisted. What can I say. Hope we get done with it all today.

And on the needles is sock #2 of the fair isle socks. Should finish them tomorrow in the car, on a long trip to visit cousins. Still struggling with the PBBSHO yarn and it just may be that it gets put back into the stash after all. Just don’t know.

And one of these days I'll go in and update the blog - and get rid of the broken comments link.

posted by Bess | 7:17 AM