Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.


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Friday, December 05, 2003  

Sorry about the lack of verbiage yesterday. Slept deliciously late for a radical change. Wish I could have done it this morning too but my eyes popped open at 4 a.m. I love waking up at 5 but I hate waking up at 4 - for some reason the latter feels unhealthy, while that extra hour feels right. I am lazily blaming it on chronology since I am at the M period of life, and I need something to explain why, for nigh on 2 years I’ve chugged along on 6 hours of sleep every night till the body rebels, throws out flu like symptoms, and I then sleep 20 out of 24 hours and everything feels right and tight. I don’t like it - it’s the sleep equivalent of drinking 10 cups of coffee a day - or smoking a pack of cigarettes. I only hope a time will come when I can get 8 nice consecutive hours of sleep every night and 16 lovely hours of awakedness.

I’ve spun up 1/2 of the Christmas Present Spinning I suddenly decided I needed to make Monday morning. It went deliciously swiftly and didn’t interrupt my other suddenly-decided-on knitted gift projects a whit. Yes - the ever pontificating, stuffed shirt of a Bess has succumbed to the desire to MakeGifts after all. I’ve dug out the Toasty Toes sock yarn (can be knit on size 4’s ) last night for LD‘s present - I love this yarn and it comes in a big enough blurging wad of bouncy merino to knit two pair - so if I am swift I will make a pair for BD as well. But I make no promises. Even to myself. I’ll just start knitting and see what happens.

I’m still dreaming about a cropped sweater out of that red STARS I uncovered in my stash clean-up. (I’m still enjoying walking by that part of the den and just admiring - I haven’t yet dumped anything new on the piles.) Sigh. It would be so much fun to have a cute, scrunchy red sweater to wear at Christmas time. 3/4 length sleeves - I’m thinking a yoke style sweater with no design till you get to the last decrease and then knitting that part in an openwork design out of the gold lame. Then, if there is any more STARS left I could knit a cowl that I could just pop over the lace yoke bit for a different, not so dressy look. Hmmmm. Awfully tempting to cast on right now.

This week has absolutely dragged. For a while I thought I was coming down with something, I actually ached so - but now I think it was all emotionally based. I do tend to make myself sick when issues are bothering me. I’m supposed to be leading a 5-year-plan project for the library and I am just so utterly uninspired about it. Especially at this busy time of year, the committee is going to get it’s energy from me and I’m running on only one cylinder, not merely 3. Not just feeling guilty about that, I’ve been stymied and puzzled. I’ve never been so listless about work before, but when I got a call from a colleague about TheIssueThatWon’tDie (think here, skeletal hands clawing up out of the ground in an abandoned grave yard) I was able to unblock a bit. The upshot is that once again I will be at the keyboard today - creating a new position paper, altered slightly and perhaps even fundamentally, because I am now speaking to a new audience. It is actually the paper I ought to have written over a year ago, but didn’t, because I was so P.O.’d. Well - I shall do my dooty. At least now I feel I can state my case to someone who is actually listening. Of even more help in re-energizing me was the staff meeting, where we could spit out the things that have been bothering us - mostly lack of adequate staff - and could really get this problem of subtle, deadly burnout into some bright light. We may not be able to do much about the underlying i$$ue$ right away, but at least we have identified them. We all felt a little more lively after the meeting.

And sweetly, happily, Friday has come ‘round again and I get two delicious days to spend on myself. I’m reading Christmas stories at a Santa Breakfast, will probably slide on over to Mechanicsville and do a tad bit of shopping, and then I’ll be home to play with my toys by mid-afternoon. Long live December!

posted by Bess | 6:08 AM