Like The Queen
Whatever happens to strike my fancy, but surely some sort of fiber content.

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Friday, August 01, 2003  

WHY DO I BLOG


OR

WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING HERE?



Baaaaa Baaaaaa
Like the little lamb I am, I follow the pack on this topic and offer up my thoughts.

The reason I began blogging was to make public the progress I was intending to make on a diet so that I would be too ashamed to admit failure and thus, at last, drop the ____ty pounds I’ve been carrying around since LittleDarling went to college - YIKES! 9 years ago.

Translate that into elegant disclaimer and I would have said:

“I began blogging to erect an external structure within which I could more easily achieve certain personal goals.”

Yes - that sounds good.

Only, of course, I was too vain and embarrassed to admit that I wanted to have an audience while I did extremely personal things in my kitchen, so I thought I’d sort of test the waters with a Knitting blog where my ego is not involved. After all, I am the woman with 25 journals of the Januarys of my life but not a word about the spring, summer or fall. I knew that just the act of journaling was going to require external discipline - forget about knitting frequently or, (wince), dieting.

Then, there is that even greater example of vanity; the diary as literature. Yes yes. I am aware that I (do you?) have little aggrandizement day dreams about being a STAR. Who doesn’t? Isn’t that what a music video is? Didn’t you ever imagine you were the girl with the hair and floaty dress in some new car/perfume/halmarkcard commercial?

Once begun, though, I became ever so slightly intrigued with coding. Not intrigued enough to really do it up right, mind you, but curious at least. I fiddled a good bit with the format, till I screwed it up so badly I had to ask TheWiseOneInPortland, (who doesn’t even read this thing!!), to fix it. And I did give some consideration to the importance of a little pictorial content, for visual interest, which forced me to learn how to use the scanner. Like Catherine, though, I have only linked to blogs I like when I’m in the mood to fiddle with coding programs. Even Blogrolling means I have to click and click and click again and then type and click and check to see I did it right and click more and oh brother, I’ll just save this blog in my “favorites” list.

And then, I also enjoy putting my ideas down on virtual paper. I really do get a lot out of re-reading what I’ve written to see if it is what I really meant, or really feel or even, really believe (and to see if I’ve got really glaring spelling or grammar errors). Sometimes stuff is buried in the subconscious, just out of reach, and writing it down exposes it to a sort of truth bath. Not everything I write, certainly not everything I think, gets put into the blog.

Another thing I like about blogging has to do with a secret fondness I have for Christmas letters. I admit it. I love getting a catch-up letter from someone telling me all the important events in all the family’s life over the past year. I’m not at all offended if they only tell good news. I wouldn’t mind if they told me only gloomy news. If I know the person at all I’m interested in his life and if it is a stranger who accidentally got his business database mixed up with his personal one - well - there - how about a window into averageman’s life? A true piece of personal literature. Nobody forces me to read the thing.

I do feel, when I’m writing these posts, that I’m writing a letter to friends. I even tell friends that if they’re wondering how we are, they can catch up by reading my blog. If it’s important, it’s likely to be written about here. My mom even commented on how personal I get on these pages. Eh. probably so. Like I said, nobody is forced to read this. But I do enjoy it when folk comment and take an idea a step further or share a similar experience.

Finally, when I have a fiber breakthrough or fiber triumph or just a new fiber experience about which I am excited, I like having a place to share it and a way to share it that I can return to, myself, and relive it’s advent.

Actually, the real question is not “why am I here?” but “why are you?”. I hope it is because you want to be.

On a fiberly note - I’ve knit 12 rounds of ribbing on my vest - Aurora8 ribbing - the largest piece of knitting I’ve ever done in this yarn. I’ve had some in the house for 2 years now, and never knit it - well, there - I am an idiot - but I haven’t had a project for it yet. No regrets, but by gosh, I’m sure glad I’m working with it at last. It feels like I am holding knitted butter in my hands - well, no. It’s not greasy. But it’s what knitted butter ought to feel like: soft, cushy, with a sleekness to each pillowy stitch. This is one incredible yarn. And yes, I know, it’s not a Christmas present. Baaaaad Bess. If I am ever disciplined enough to do what I said I would do I’ll be sure to let you know.

posted by Bess | 7:02 AM
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