Like The Queen
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Wednesday, July 16, 2003  


Girl and diet gushy stuff

No fiber news. Hey, wait! Some fiber news. The merino/tencel came from Opalessence yesterday and I spun a few feet of the Monet. But nothing else worthy of mention. Still getting ready for the bdparty, the HUGE family reunion ( this is year 150!!) the 4H classes and the trip to PA next week. Tomorrow Jen is coming for lunch and an afternoon of looking at fibers, so Friday should be an interesting post.

Now, for the girlie stuff.

Tuesday nights have been becoming my girls-night-out for a good while now. Last winter I taught knitting classes on Tuesday nights and the WeightWatchers night is also Tuesdays so I get out of cooking that night. Odd how I have grown so tired of cooking since I still do a lot of it and really - I like cooking. What I am rather tired of is the burden of meal preparation - as my pulchritude proves, for when I was ResponsibleForTheDevelopmentOfHealthyChild it wasn’t an issue at all and I stayed slim, but now that it’s just a couple of old guys, why should I make the effort, right? Yeah. I know. wrong.

But this night out each week with girlfriends is becoming something of a routine. Funny how important that is to me. There was a winter, lo these many decades ago, when we had no money - we lived on $40 a month! BigDarling left one job for another, which fell through, and he couldn't find another one for several months. Our car broke down and I sat at the end of a mile long dirt road with only a baby and a BigDarling. We ate squirrel stew all winter and, had I not canned up 300 quarts of vegetables the previous summer, we probably would have developed scurvy. By springtime I was so depressed, nothing could make me happy. Someone put me on the guest list for a baby shower for a girl I didn’t even know and I went. I sat there in that room full of women and suddenly the whole world righted itself. And I realized that I wouldn’t survive without women friends and if I wanted any I had better be sure I made some.

“Duh, Bess” you say, but remember, I grew up in a house with built-in women friends. I had never even imagined living in a guy-house, and certainly never imagined talking to only two people, one of them under 2, for months at a time. Within a few weeks, a beloved guy friend brought this wonderful, adventurous, delightful woman over (I am sure he thought I needed a friend). She became one of the great gifts I have received in my life. That he later married her is, of course, moot. What is important is that I have never let myself get so isolated from women again. I have been very, very lucky in finding a cadre of lovely women to fulfill that aspect of my life.

And I swear I will not slide into this maudlin, weepy, sentimental dribble about girlfriends next Wednesday morning. (course, that may mean I won’t post at all next Wednesday.) I don’t think I would be as bad today, except last night, after I got home, BigDarling and I watched the movie Crush, with Andie McDowell, Anna Chancelor (Miss Bingley from the BBC Pride&Predjudice) and Imelda Staunton. It’s definitely a chick flick but with real meat and pretty good character development. So there, I’ve had this literary cloak thrown over the girlfriend issue and we all must be sacrificed for the sake of ART

Anyway, C, of last winter’s sweater class, joined H and me at WW last night, where, btw, I gained .2 lbs and would have been really depressed about it except I had, just that morning, tried on my favorite dress - the one I had to wear one of those hideous corset sort of things underneath in order to button it, back when I bought it!! and hadn’t been able to wear at all for 3 years and I could wear it sans torture bodycast thingy! And while I want to loose weight, that is only so I can wear smaller clothes again. I really don’t care if I weigh 1,000 lbs so long as I can wear a size 10 again. And what do you know, the topic was all about enjoying other successes besides the scale moving downwards! So I couldn’t really be that low about the small weight gain. And anyway, the body is doing weird things these days - things like waking up in the middle of the night and not going back to sleep and other more plumbing related stuff.

But having C along, encouraging her, talking with gusto and energy about dieting and bodies - a subject particularly boring to those not involved - really buoyed me up. There is this aspect of enlisting, or encouraging - teaching - who can find the one word that encompasses the whole ball of feelings and activities, when one person helps another on the Quest? - that is extremely fulfilling. Perhaps it is what drew me to librarianship - that desire to get people what they are looking for - to set them on that path that takes them where they want to go. It is such a high for me.

We went grocery shopping after the meeting. Conversation flowed, ideas percolated, tentative hopes were shared. Afterwards we had weight watchers influenced dinners while H and I offered tips and experiences we’d picked up over the past weeks and months. Teaching is what we were doing. That is the word that floats up to the top and as I view the three of us in my mind’s eye, I realize we all 3 are teachers. C is actively teaching now and H taught for several years and I am a librarian. We had H’s little girls with us and I could see them, with big eyes, listening and soaking up all this conversation - little acolytes, learning how to become women. I wonder how deeply the teacher role will seep into their psyches. It will be interesting to watch.

So - enough rambling about girls and diets. I know it’s a dull topic to anyone who is not dieting and it is also sort of ... heh - its a look at a part of me I don’t usually put on display. One hopes I can confine it to small progress reports and perhaps, a little less gush.

posted by Bess | 7:02 AM